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When you find the unsubscribe button for adulting, let me know! I'm ready for a permanent vacation. 😂🛌🙌
Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?
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Why stop the rollercoaster just when it gets fun? 🎢✍️
What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)
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Living in the future feels like being in a sci-fi movie, but I'm the unpaid intern! 🚀🤖💸
Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.
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The phone rang, my motivation didn't. 📞🙃
Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.
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Love a partner who can make your heart race and your ears ring! 🩳🔊💕
“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.
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When the clock strikes dish o'clock, I'm Cyndi Lauper-ing my way through the suds! ⏰🧽🎶
Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.
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When it comes to cheese, my heart says "just keep grating" and my wrist says "seriously, I'm tired now" 🧀❤️😂
The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.
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And here I am questioning my life choices after buying extra guac 🌯💸😅
Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.
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Looks like it's a prickly situation, but at least nobody leaves with thorny feelings! 🌹❌😄
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.
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Mondays be doing overtime this week 😂☕ #MondayMadness