Commentary:
I call it psychic irritation, and I'm never wrong 😂🔮😤
Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.
Commentary:
Trying to keep my plants alive is challenging enough! 🌿😂 #ChildlessGoals
Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?
Commentary:
Taking procrastination to an Olympic level, one warm cycle at a time! 🔄👕😅
Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.
Commentary:
Who needs a photographer when you can multitask like a pro? 🐮📸😅
I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.
Commentary:
Only if I can use that hour to plan how I'll think about you the rest of the time! 🕒🤔🧠
My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.
Commentary:
Mastering the art of facepalming, one lesson at a time! 🤦♂️📚😂
If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.
Commentary:
Camping: where there's no Wi-Fi, but intense bonding with mosquitos 🏕️🐜🥴
No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.
Commentary:
What a plot twist! I’m just a human caught in an office-themed episode of Lost. 🏝️🔍🏢
Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.
Commentary:
Oh no, should I be worried about your debate diet? 🗣️🍽️😂
It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”
Commentary:
If that doesn't say we're living in a weird timeline, I don't know what does! 🦖😂🎬