Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.
  • Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.
  • “Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.
  • When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”
  • My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.
  • Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).