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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Making waves on Facebook:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Just shared via YouTube:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Going viral on TikTok:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Making waves on Telegram:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

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Commentary:
"Remember, folks on a diet aren't giving you the side-eye – they're just staring down their salad like it stole their dreams 🥗😂 #FoodEnvy"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Seen just now on Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Making waves on Discord:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Shared recently on Threads:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Going bananas on Slack:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

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