Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Spotted on X:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Going viral on Instagram:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to escape from the cave but my WiFi signal is too strong! 📱🔗🏞️

back, cave, chain, human, humans, humor, illusion, media, philosophy, plato’s, Plato’s cave, social, social media, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

0

2 months ago

carry, communication, constant, everyday, everyday life, humor, irony, life, message, phone, right, technology, voicemail
“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

0

2 months ago

desire, exaggeration, food, garlic, humor, love, much, next, romance, sarcasm, too
My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

0

2 months ago

children, degree, family, frequent, frequent visits, healthcare, humor, kids, medical, medical degree, nurse, parenting, visits
Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

0

2 months ago

babe, humor, morning, outside, stupid, wake, wake up
Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

0

2 months ago

guy, hug, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, prison, social, social interaction, thinking
My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

0

2 months ago

adjectif, gender, humor, identity, overwhelmed, problematic, pronouns, self-description

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

47 shares on X this month:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

44 shares on X this month:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Trending via Threads:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Spotted on Reddit:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Making waves on Messenger:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Making waves on WeChat:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨