Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Trending via Reddit:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Just shared via WeChat:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Squirrels always look and act like it’s their first day being a squirrel.

3 hours ago

Witty quote highlighting squirrels' playful, clueless demeanor on their first day as squirrels.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're trying to adult but secretly have no idea what's going on 🤪🐿️✨

act, always, animal, animal behavior, awkwardness, behavior, being, comedy, day, first day, funny observation, humor, nature, nature humor, observation, squirrel, squirrels, wildlife

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

42 shares on X this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Shared recently on X:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Breaking via Telegram:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Just landed via Threads:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Trending via Twitch:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Live now on Slack:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Squirrels always look and act like it’s their first day being a squirrel.

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Squirrels always look and act like it’s their first day being a squirrel.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨