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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Live now on Slack:

Fries, not lies.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Breaking via Reddit:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Trending via Instagram:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Just shared via Instagram:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew Beavis and Butthead were actually a secret squad to keep names like Beavis under the radar? 😂🤔👉📋

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

That fight could’ve been an email.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

52 shares on TikTok this month:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve disappointed better people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Body by sandwich.

Live now on LinkedIn:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Going viral on Discord:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Just shared via Messenger:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Just landed via Twitch:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Breaking via Slack:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Seen just now on Threads:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My life is based on a true story.

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