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Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Making waves on Threads:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Who knew Beavis and Butthead were actually a secret squad to keep names like Beavis under the radar? 😂🤔👉📋

beavis, butthead, humor, ignore, name, shock, shocked, strangeness, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

1 month ago

call, coffin, coughing, death, family, humor, inheritance, joke, money
The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

1 month ago

bath, bath water, funny situation, humor, oh, person, reaction, situation, throw, throw out, uh, uh oh, unexpected, water
I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

1 month ago

allowed, astronaut, back, choice, decision, humor, i, return, should, space, think
I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

1 month ago

humor, humorous, humorous quote, independent, independent woman, irony, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, self-empowerment, strong, strong woman, woman
I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

1 month ago

alert, bracelet, ever, humor, i, irony, joke, just, life, life alert, notified, self-awareness
The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

1 month ago

appearance, coincidence, embarrassment, encounter, errand, errands, everyone, guarantee, lesson, life, life lesson, looking, months, only, run, seen, shit, social, social encounter, surprise

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

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We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

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We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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