Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like the mosquitoes were practicing some ankle-biting moves straight out of a martial arts movie! 🦟💥 Better put on some extra insect repellent next time to avoid becoming their next kung fu target! 😂"

again, ankle, experience, humor, incident, mosquito, never, night, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

0

2 months ago

everyday, everyday life, expectations, gangster, humor, irony, life, reality, running, running water, spoon, turn, water, wrong
Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

0

2 months ago

advice, culture, dua, Dua Lipa, games, humor, lipa, Luigi, Mario, platform, pop, pop culture, singer, video, video games
For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

0

2 months ago

anger, costume, destroy, eyebrows, face, Halloween, humor, me, spooky, training
I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

0

2 months ago

apologize, humor, i, issues, me, negativity, new, new year, past, relationships, resolution, start, year
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

0

2 months ago

fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder
If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

0

2 months ago

Airwrecka, call, daughter, Erica, ever, going, humor, i, name, spell, spelling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Shared recently on Threads:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Seen just now on TikTok:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Live now on Threads:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Making waves on Facebook:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Making waves on Facebook:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨