Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Trending via Messenger:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Trending via Snapchat:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Just shared via X:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Spotted on YouTube:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Broadcasted on X:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Breaking via Reddit:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Breaking via YouTube:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

2 months ago

0

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 How convenient would that be, right? Just imagine rolling around in the dryer for a few minutes, enjoying the free tumble cycle like a cozy little clothes burrito! 🌀 Who knew adulting could involve such exciting possibilities? #DryerDelights #LaundryDayGoals 🧺

activity, after, charge, chores, domestic, domestic life, dryer, fun, fun activity, humor, laundry, life, little, relaxation, should, tumble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

0

6 months ago

betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried
I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

0

2 months ago

am, exercise, fitness, humor, i, ID, Jesus, life, motivation, out of shape, right, run, shape, someone, today
I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

0

2 months ago

advice, aunty, child, family, focus, hear, humor, i, know, needs, own, parenting
Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

better, cookie, craving, diet, eating, humor, i, loss, motivation, self-control, skinny, temptation, tomorrow, wake, weight, weight loss
To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

0

4 months ago

budget, frugality, home, humor, just, money, save, saving, saving money, stay, stay-at-home
Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

0

2 months ago

cardio, cube, exercise, floor, got, ice, ice cube, just, kitchen, minutes, pick, trying, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

54 shares on Threads this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Live now on Messenger:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Spotted on Threads:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Seen just now on Threads:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Going viral on Telegram:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Breaking via Snapchat:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴