Author Archives: slickboy

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Commentary:
Watching that hairline retreat like it's on a permanent vacation! 😂✈️🏖️

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a highly detailed nighttime drama series running in your head! 🌙🛌📚

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Commentary:
Moths: The original night-shift crowd running away from their responsibilities 😂🦋💡

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Commentary:
Ready to party… from the comfort of my favorite chair! 🪑😄

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Commentary:
Brains in the mail! 🤔📬 #FairTradeThoughts

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Commentary:
That's pasta-tively hilarious! 🍝😆

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Commentary:
When the cost of living hits you like a rent invoice even Jesus couldn’t cover 🏦💸😅

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Commentary:
"Ah, the secret behind man’s obsession with pool revealed! 🎱👀🍑"

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Commentary:
Finally, a list on my phone I actually want to read 📱😂 #EpsteinAlbum

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Commentary:
Suddenly chillier than a penguin's picnic—watch your back! 🐧❄️😜