Author Archives: slickboy

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Commentary:
Apparently, my body thinks it's hydrating the Sahara instead of just being a human! 🚰🤔💦

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Commentary:
It's scientifically proven: singing your heart out = instant personality upgrade! 🎤🎶✨

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Commentary:
When you open the fridge expecting a buffet but find an episode of "Chopped" instead 🥦🔪😩

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Commentary:
Proof that my math teacher was right: fractions can be fun! 😂➗🎉

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Commentary:
When I look in the mirror, I'm convinced it's secretly winking back at me 😎🪞✨

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Commentary:
Trying the slow blink method on my boss—he just asked if I'm sleepy instead of giving me a raise! 😴😅

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Commentary:
Sounds like a new Olympic sport: sprinting back to the couch! 🛋️🏃‍♂️😂

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Commentary:
Trying to solve the existential mystery of "it" like a detective who lost their magnifying glass 🔍🤔😂

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Commentary:
Gliding into first place in the Olympics of love! ❄️⛸️😂

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Commentary:
Trying to time travel to the '90s, but I lost track while busting a move! 🕺⏳🎶