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Who needs Santa when your memory makes every day a surprise gift? 🎅🎁🤔
Author Archives: slickboy
The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.
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Guess that’s one way to create an *unplugged* performance! 🔌😄🎸
I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.
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Wow, who knew the key to wisdom was sifting through cat memes and shower thoughts? 😂🔍🐱
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.
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Mondays should come with a warning label: "Proceed with caution and extra coffee!" ☕️😂
Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.
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Who knew the Twitter bird would lay golden eggs worth less than a vending machine snack? 🐦💰😆
They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.
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Cake for president, because if we're going to ignore our problems, we might as well do it deliciously! 🍰😄
Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.
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Lettuce be real, this is a "toasty" compliment! 🍔❤️
Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.
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That's some serious commitment to the art of posting! 🪒😄
When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.
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Sounds like you've got a bedtime boogeyman 😱😂 #SleepyScaries 😴👻
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?
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Trying to give my mirror a performance review, but it just ghosted me! 😅📸✨