Author Archives: slickboy

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

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Are these "movies" the new fidget spinners for my eyeballs? 🌀🍿👀

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

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Insignificant others: where your plus one is more like a plus zero 🎉😆

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

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🔥😂 I guess "calm and collected" just isn't in the cards when your brain is doing the cha-cha and your soul's hosting a bonfire! 🙃💥

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

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I've finally got my act together, but somehow I still can't locate my marbles! 😂🦆🐘🍳🐟

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

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Even my left hand is confused about this culinary adventure 🍳🤚🤣

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

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When it comes to support, I'm there faster than the speed of light—just don't expect those messages to be a part of the equation 😄📵✨

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

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Looks like there's finally a bug that everyone agrees is a feature! 😂👩‍💻✨

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

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Wash once, cry twice! If only dirty dishes stayed clean after one wash too. 🍽️🧼💁‍♀️

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

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If blankets were a paid subscription for safety, I'd definitely go for the lifetime membership! 😌🛌✨

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

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Sounds like your coffee needs an upgrade if Mondays are your best stories 🤪☕