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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

40 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Live now on Slack:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Reported on YouTube:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Jan 24, 2025

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the horror! 🕷️💨 It's bad enough when you see a spider, but when it pulls a Houdini and disappears into thin air, well, that's just pure nightmare fuel! 😱 Who knows where it might pop up next? Maybe it's off plotting its next surprise attack… Watch your back! 😂 #SpookySpiderAntics

anxiety, creature, disappeared, even, fear, humor, just, spider, surprise, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

40 minutes ago

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Breaking via Snapchat:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Live now on Twitch:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Live now on Telegram:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Trending via Threads:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Trending via Threads:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

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