202 funny animal quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

May 22, 2026

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

May 21, 2026

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

May 21, 2026

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

May 21, 2026

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

May 21, 2026

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

May 21, 2026

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

May 21, 2026

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

May 21, 2026

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

May 21, 2026

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

May 21, 2026

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

May 21, 2026

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

May 21, 2026

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

May 21, 2026

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

May 21, 2026

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

May 21, 2026

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

May 21, 2026

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

May 20, 2026

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

May 20, 2026

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

May 20, 2026

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

May 20, 2026

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

May 20, 2026

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

May 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

May 20, 2026

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

May 20, 2026

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

May 20, 2026

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

May 20, 2026

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

May 20, 2026

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

May 20, 2026

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

May 19, 2026

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

May 19, 2026

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

May 19, 2026

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

May 19, 2026

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

May 19, 2026

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

May 19, 2026

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

May 19, 2026

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

May 19, 2026

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

May 19, 2026

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

May 19, 2026

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

May 19, 2026

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

May 19, 2026