Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Trending via Messenger:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Going viral on Twitch:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Funny army quotes

Funny army quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of soldiers and boot camps! 😂 From quirky training moments to unexpected battlefield humor, these gems keep morale high and spirits even higher 🎖️🔥 Whether you’re a veteran, recruit, or just love military laughs, get ready to chuckle, smile, and maybe even salute with a grin 😄💥 #ArmyLife #MilitaryHumor

New funny army quotes 👇

All funny army quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

64 shares on Discord this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

30 shares on Threads this month:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

47 shares on Telegram this month:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Live now on Reddit:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Just shared via WeChat:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Seen just now on Discord:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴