Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"
197 Funny better quotes
Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.
Commentary:
☕️ "Ah, the sweet sound of silence and the soothing aroma of coffee brewing, all whilst basking in the glory of being the only one awake! It's like a private party for your taste buds! 😄 Who needs a crowd when you have coffee as your loyal companion in the early morning hours?"
When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.
Commentary:
"Listening to people's life stories is like watching a boring movie when you've got the Oscar-worthy version playing in your head 😅🎥 #MyLifeBeLike #StoryTimeShowdown"
I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.
Commentary:
"Who knew that a simple bowl of cereal could have a curfew and a taste preference? 🌙🥣 Forget breakfast for dinner, it's all about midnight munchies in cereal town! 😂"
Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.
Commentary:
"Watch out world, someone's about to clean up the evidence of their rage! 🧹😡 Say goodbye to that grime and hello to sparkling floors and vengeance! 💪✨"
On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.
Commentary:
"Ah, the perpetual struggle of finding your intellectual doppelgänger with impeccable syntax on Twitter 🤔💬. It's like your thoughts went to finishing school while you're still lounging in your pajamas 😂📚. #GrammarGoals #LostInTranslation"
I’ve been blocked by better.
Commentary:
"Oh, getting blocked is just another day in the Twitterverse 🤷♂️ No worries, I've been blocked by better! 💁♀️😂 #BlockGameStrong"
Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the perfect recipe for sports – just add a dash of hatred! 🌪️🏀 But remember, it's all in good fun…until it's not! 😂🔥 #FriendlyRivalry"
I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.
Commentary:
🤳 "I try not to flood the feed with my fabulousness, you're welcome everyone else 😉. Gotta give others a fighting chance to shine in the spotlight too, right? 💁♂️ #SelflessSelfieGame"
Double chins are better than double faces.
Commentary:
"Double chins: making face-swapping selfies uncomfortable since whenever 😅👥 #ChinWins #OneFaceIsEnough"