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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Just landed via X:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Just shared via Messenger:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Making waves on Reddit:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Trending via Discord:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Trending via Slack:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Funny bodily functions quotes

Funny bodily functions quotes 💨💩 bring a hilarious twist to everyday moments we all experience but rarely talk about! From sneezes 🤧 to burps 🍔, these witty lines turn awkward into awesome, reminding us that laughter is the best medicine 😂. Ready to giggle at the quirks of the human body? Let’s dive into some chuckle-worthy takes that make even the weirdest sounds a reason to smile! 😆✨

New funny bodily functions quotes 👇

All funny bodily functions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

17 shares on Threads this month:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

84 shares on Slack this month:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

11 shares on Slack this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,226

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Broadcasted on X:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Making waves on Facebook:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Going bananas on X:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Just shared via Messenger:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Going bananas on WeChat:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

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