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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

4,003

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Freshly posted on X:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Seen just now on Slack:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Live now on Slack:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Trending via Facebook:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Just landed via Threads:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Home » Funny Bum Quotes

Funny bum quotes

New funny bum quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Home is where you can strut your stuff in your comfiest, most 'bum-like' attire like the true fashion icon you are! 👖👚 Who says you need designer clothes to rock the bum-chic look? Embrace the cozy vibes and lounge like a boss! 🛋️💁‍♂️ #HomeSweetHome"

around, bum, casual, comfort, home, humor, relaxation, walk, where
1 month ago

Commentary:
"Sure, but you'll only find memes and cat pics in stock today! 📱😂🐱"

addiction, app, asked, bum, delete, deleted, humor, i, Instagram, media, phone, request, scroll, social, social media, someone, technology
4 months ago

Commentary:
Who knew student loans were just a fancy cover for professional procrastination? 🎓💸😆

being, bum, choice, college, delay, education, folks, humor, life, life choice, procrastination

All funny bum quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,853

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Spotted on Reddit:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Just shared via Slack:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Trending via Slack:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Seen just now on Discord:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Just shared via X:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Live now on Messenger:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

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