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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Going viral on Instagram:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Going viral on Facebook:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Going bananas on Messenger:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Funny cape quotes

Funny cape quotes 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️ are here to lift your spirits higher than any superhero’s fly! Whether you’re rocking a cape for style or just imagining your superpowers, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud 🤣 and feeling unstoppable. Ready to cape it up with a smile? Let’s dive into some humor that’s as bold and bright as your favorite hero’s signature look! 🦇✨

New funny cape quotes 👇

All funny cape quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

79 shares on X this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Trending via Twitch:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Trending via Twitch:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Making waves on YouTube:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Freshly posted on X:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

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