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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Making waves on X:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Trending via Telegram:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Shared recently on X:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Going viral on Threads:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Funny clip quotes

Funny clip quotes bring instant laughter and good vibes to your day 🎉😂 Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or a hilarious share for your feed, these bite-sized gems are pure entertainment gold 💎📲 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as you dive into the funniest moments captured on screen 🎬🤣 Perfect for brightening moods and sparking joy anywhere, anytime!

New funny clip quotes 👇

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

2 weeks ago

antics, appear, binder, binder clip, clip, humor, i, job, just, looks, nowhere, say, surprise
There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

3 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails
At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

3 weeks ago

bag, bag of chips, bedtime, chips, claw, claw clip, clip, daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, hair, humor, i, move, ritual, routine, snack, snack time, time

All funny clip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Slack this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

72 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

14 shares on Threads this month:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Making waves on Threads:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Going viral on Discord:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Spotted on Twitch:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Going bananas on Discord:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Trending via Instagram:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Making waves on Threads:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Freshly posted on X:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

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