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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Going viral on Instagram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Shared recently on Slack:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Just landed via Discord:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Going bananas on Reddit:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Trending via TikTok:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Seen just now on Slack:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Funny contain quotes

Funny contain quotes are the perfect sprinkle of humor 🌟 to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone 😂. Whether you need a quick laugh or a clever twist to share with friends, these witty gems 🎉 never fail to deliver smiles and good vibes. Get ready to chuckle, giggle, and maybe even snort a little 🤪—because who said words can’t be hilarious? Let the fun begin! 🎈✨

New funny contain quotes 👇

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

0

2 months ago

backstory, character, contain, humor, irony, password, security, technology, tragic
I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

0

2 months ago

contain, craziness, expression, humor, i, lid, personality, popping, self-control
I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

0

2 months ago

Chrome, clean, cleaning, contain, humor, i, information, organization, procrastination, survival, tabs, technology, tried
My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

0

2 months ago

communication, contain, frequency, hear, humor, men, relationships, theory, voice, voices, women’s, women’s voice
Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

0

2 months ago

board, comedy, confusion, contain, critique, film, film critique, humor, just, movie, movie rating, naked, never, nudity, people, rating, ratings, ratings board, saw, someone, sure

All funny contain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People should come with warning labels.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Trending via Reddit:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

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