Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Seen just now on Slack:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Making waves on TikTok:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Funny destination quotes

Funny destination quotes bring a burst of laughter to your travel vibes 🌍😂 Whether you’re a globe-trotter or dreaming from your couch, these witty sayings add a hilarious twist to wanderlust ✈️😎 Get ready to giggle, relate, and maybe even plan your next adventure with a smile 😜📸 Because who says exploring the world can’t be fun and funny at the same time?

New funny destination quotes 👇

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

0

4 weeks ago

adult, adulting, being, destination, frustration, humor, hurry, irony, just, life, life truth, me, place, responsibility, somewhere, truth, want, warned
I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

0

2 months ago

Bali, choice, destination, hope, i, Japan, luxury, Maldif, next, stress, Switzerland, time, travel, vacation
It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

0

2 months ago

activity, destination, eat, food, fun, fun activity, humor, journey, matters, road, road trip, snacks, travel, trip
His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

0

2 months ago

confetti, destination, dollar, heavy, humor, luggage, palm, palm tree, party, Serengeti, store, travel, tree, trees, tux, vomit, wedding

All funny destination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

66 shares on Discord this month:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Spotted on Discord:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Trending via Telegram:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Trending via Slack:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Freshly posted on X:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴