73 funny dinner quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

May 24, 2026

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

May 24, 2026

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

May 24, 2026

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

May 24, 2026

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

May 23, 2026

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

May 23, 2026

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

May 23, 2026

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

May 23, 2026

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

May 22, 2026

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

May 22, 2026

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

May 22, 2026

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

May 22, 2026

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

May 22, 2026

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

May 22, 2026

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

May 21, 2026

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

May 21, 2026

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

May 21, 2026

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

May 21, 2026

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

May 21, 2026

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

May 21, 2026

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

May 20, 2026

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

May 20, 2026

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

May 20, 2026

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

May 20, 2026

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

May 20, 2026

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

May 19, 2026

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

May 19, 2026

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

May 19, 2026

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

May 19, 2026

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

May 19, 2026

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

May 19, 2026

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

May 19, 2026

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

May 19, 2026