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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Going viral on Threads:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Spotted on YouTube:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Seen just now on Slack:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Making waves on Discord:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Going viral on YouTube:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Home » Funny Drive Quotes » Page 5

44 Funny drive quotes

More funny drive quotes 👇

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

0

5 months ago

after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout
Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

0

5 months ago

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together
She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

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5 months ago

car, drive, driving, humor, manual, manual transmission, millennial, shift, stereotype, stick, stick shift, transmission, unique
I drive like I’m immortal.

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5 months ago

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving

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All funny drive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

35 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Breaking via Telegram:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Spotted on Discord:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

44 Funny drive quotes

More funny drive quotes 👇

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

I drive like I’m immortal.

All funny drive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨