Commentary:
"Who needs groupthink when you've got your own personalized brand of nonsensical brilliance? 🤪🤷♂️ Embrace your quirks and let your uniquely goofy opinions shine bright like a diamond… in the most peculiar way possible! 💎😂 #OneOfAKind"
371 Funny ever quotes
Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”
Commentary:
"Three words that strike fear into the hearts of parents everywhere: 'Come on in.' 🤦♂️🤷♀️ Because we all know that's where chaos and mess await! 😂 #ParentingStruggles"
Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?
Commentary:
"Dear diary, sure hope you're not feeling neglected from all my talk! 📖 Maybe you enjoy some quality 'me time' when I'm not around. 🤔 Don't worry, I promise to spare you the drama… unless we're writing a bestseller together! 🖊️😅"
If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, Erica… I mean Airwrecka, the trendsetter of unique names! ✈️🤣 Who needs to stick to tradition when you can soar above with a name that's truly unforgettable? Just watch out for any turbulence in spelling tests! 😆✨ #NameGameStrong"
If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.
Commentary:
Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂
Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.
Commentary:
"Stepping on someone's foot is like discovering a secret trap door to their mouth – talk about a surprise entrance! 🚪😮♨️ #Whoops #WatchYourStep"
Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.
Commentary:
"Living in our house is like playing the ultimate game of hide and seek – even the police would be stumped! 🕵️♂️🤪 #MessyLife"
Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.
Commentary:
Guess you have to rely on all-caps emojis to express your excitement or frustration 😂🤷♂️📢
You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?
Commentary:
That's me, the president of the One-Person Comedy Club! 😂🧠
My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.
Commentary:
"My imaginary child is always entertaining me with deep philosophical questions 🤔👶 #HallucinationOrImagination"