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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Shared recently on Slack:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Just landed via Discord:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Live now on Facebook:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Making waves on Facebook:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Going viral on Twitch:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Reported on Threads:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Just landed via Facebook:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Reported on Threads:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Breaking via Messenger:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Just landed via TikTok:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

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