Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Just shared via X:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Just shared via WeChat:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Just landed via Facebook:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Just shared via YouTube:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Funny extended quotes

Funny extended quotes are the perfect way to keep the laughter rolling 😂✨ Whether you’re looking to brighten up your day or share some witty wisdom with friends, these long, hilarious sayings deliver nonstop chuckles 🤣💬 Get ready to dive into a world of humor that’s anything but short and sweet—because sometimes, the best jokes need a little extra time to shine! 🌟🎉

New funny extended quotes 👇

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, always, coming, extended, humor, humor about aging, know, life, life perspective, Monday, old, old age, perspective, retirement, weekend

Someone from 🇬🇶 has recently bookmarked this quote.

34 shares on YouTube this month.
But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

0

2 months ago

babe, culture, edition, emotional, emotional support, extended, extended edition, fandom, geek, geek culture, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, movie, relationship, rings, support

Someone from 🇧🇦 has recently copied this quote.

23 shares on Pinterest this month.
If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

0

6 months ago

charm, day, ever, extended, golden, here, hospitality, houseguest, humor, invisibility, invisible, night, period, rule, success, time, yourself

Someone from 🇨🇻 has recently shared this quote.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny extended quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

12 shares on X this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

60 shares on Threads this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

57 shares on Slack this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Trending via Slack:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Spotted on Facebook:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Trending via Slack:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Just shared via Slack:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

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