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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Trending via Twitch:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Just landed via Twitch:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Live now on Facebook:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Seen just now on Threads:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Going viral on Facebook:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Just landed via Facebook:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Going viral on Twitch:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Going viral on Facebook:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

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