Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,774

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Making waves on Telegram:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Live now on LinkedIn:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Funny gordon quotes

Funny Gordon quotes serve up a sizzling mix of humor and wit that never fail to spice up your day 🍳😂 Whether you’re a foodie or just love a good laugh, these gems bring the heat and hilarity in equal measure 🔥🤣 Get ready to chuckle, cringe, and maybe even drool a little—because Gordon’s comedic flavor is always on point! 🍔😜

New funny gordon quotes 👇

All funny gordon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a friend like me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Trending via Facebook:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Just shared via Instagram:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Spreading quickly via X:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Going bananas on Discord:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Just landed via YouTube:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Making waves on X:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Going viral on Instagram:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

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