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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Making waves on Slack:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Going viral on X:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Funny heated quotes

Funny heated quotes bring the perfect blend of 🔥 sass and 😂 laughter, turning even the spiciest moments into pure entertainment! Whether you’re looking to roast a friend or just add some zing to your day, these witty burns will have you chuckling and nodding in agreement. Get ready to heat things up with clever comebacks and playful jabs that never miss the mark! 🎤🔥😎

New funny heated quotes 👇

All funny heated quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

89 shares on Threads this month:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Making waves on Facebook:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Just landed via Slack:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Just shared via Threads:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Making waves on Telegram:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Just landed via Slack:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

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