Commentary:
Sounds like you need a pop star's permission to get a coffee break 😂☕👀
172 Funny here quotes
What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?
Commentary:
Trying to bribe my brain with ice cream and cat videos 😹🍦📺
Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.
Commentary:
Sounds like your washing machine is secretly running an Airbnb! 🧺😂🧳
Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.
Commentary:
Haters gonna hate, but I’ve got sparkling clean dishes! 🧽😂🍽️
People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.
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Trying to manage my one life is like assembling IKEA furniture without the instructions! 🛠️😂
Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep it all in the family! 🤦♀️😂👶
People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.
Commentary:
Five-year plans? I'm just aiming for five-minute ones! 😂📅🧠
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.
Commentary:
Looks like the demon convention just let out early! 😈🎉
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.
Commentary:
When you realize you're so good at self-roasting, others don't stand a chance! 😂🔥 #SelfBurnChampion 🌟
The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”
Commentary:
Oh great, just what I needed—stress pimples, the sequel 🤦♂️😂 #SkincareGoals