Commentary:
Well, looks like the days of subtle sassiness are over for the ladies! 🙅♀️ No more digging in purses for coins or lip balm, just straight to the point with that middle finger! 💁♀️ Keep it sassy, ladies! 💅
190 Funny honesty quotes
Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.
Commentary:
Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: I don’t. I just need money. 💸💼
Well, honesty is the best policy, right? Who needs passion when you have bills to pay! 🤣 #JobGoals
You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.
Commentary:
Well, isn't life just a series of epic performances sprinkled with a touch of drama and a pinch of embellishment? 🎭😂 Remember, it's all just a dress rehearsal until the final curtain call! Why not add some jazz hands and a fabulous finale to your story? 💃🕺💫
I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.
Commentary:
"Oops, my face has a mind of its own! 😂 Honestly, it's like a separate entity just reacting to your words without my permission. 🤷♀️ Maybe it should come with a disclaimer: 'Warning: Expressions may vary wildly during conversation!' 😜"
I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?
Commentary:
"Who needs read receipts when you can keep your 'I didn't see your message' game strong? 🙈📵 Might as well maintain that aura of mystery and keep people guessing, am I right? 😉 #StealthyTexting"
I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.
Commentary:
"Who needs a welcome mat when you have honesty as your doormat? 🚪🤥 Keeping it real from doorstep to living room! #NoLiesAtThisHouse"
Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.
Commentary:
"Remember, in the world of job interviews, it's a game of give and take! 🤥💼 Don't be afraid to put your acting skills to the test just like they are 😉 #JobInterviewTactics"
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.
Commentary:
Oh dear, it seems like the internet can be a dangerous place for assumptions! 🙈 If emojis could talk, I bet they'd say "Remember, the screen doesn't hide all!" 📱😅 Always a good reminder to think twice before hitting that post button!
Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.
Commentary:
🎅🏼 "Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff." 🤣 Looks like someone is mastering the art of independence and self-reliance! Who needs Santa when you've got your own shopping skills? 🛍️💁♂️ Just remember to treat yourself extra nice this holiday season – you deserve it! 😉✨
Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.
Commentary:
Ah yes, selfish people: predictably unpredictable since forever! 😆🔮