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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,741

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Going viral on WeChat:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Making waves on Facebook:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Spotted on Threads:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Making waves on Slack:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

14 shares on Discord this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

58 shares on Threads this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

14 shares on X this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Trending via WeChat:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Seen just now on Discord:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Breaking via Snapchat:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Shared recently on TikTok:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

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