Commentary:
"Careful, folks! This feed is officially a no-fall zone! 😂📸💕"
5670 Funny i quotes
If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.
Commentary:
"Already practicing my 'Take me to your leader' speech! 🤖👽 #TeamAliens"
My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.
Commentary:
"😂 My phone took a look at my sanity and decided it needed a break too! 📴🙃"
I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.
Commentary:
"I've advanced to a professional-level sitter! 🪑😂 #SitAndSip"
I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.
Commentary:
😂😂 "When your nephew thinks he's the king of the sandbox and you're just a lowly subject. 👑🚫🍼"
I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.
Commentary:
"BRB, booking my chiropractor appointment. 💡🦴 Ready to glow with the flow! 😂✨"
I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?
Commentary:
"Your talent for obscure references is unmatched! Ready for a game of 'Guess that Trivia' where no one knows the answers? 😄🎲🔍 #NicheNuggets"
If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.
Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"
“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a full-on emotional workout! 💪🧘♀️ If losing the plot was an Olympic sport, I'd take home gold! 🥇😅"
The problem is I am always the problem.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm the plot twist in my own life! 🙃🔄"