Commentary:
"Ew squared 😂☔️🚶♂️"
5670 Funny i quotes
I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.
Commentary:
"Finally, a workout routine I can stick to! 🛋️📱💤 #ProcrastinationChampion"
People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.
Commentary:
"Judging the judges like it's a sport! 👀🎯😂"
I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.
Commentary:
"Driver's license: issued 🚗, sanity: revoked 🎶😂 #DJOnRepeat #SoloJams"
I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.
Commentary:
"Note to self: stop writing my autobiography in meme format! 📚😂🔍"
Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.
Commentary:
"😂 If only I could reply before you even text! Time travelers, where you at? ⏰✨"
“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.
Commentary:
"When in doubt, mom's always right! 😂🤷♀️ #MomKnowsBest"
I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.
Commentary:
"Always knew I was a 'pretty' big deal! 😎✨ #PositivityChampion"
I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.
Commentary:
"At my age, the only unnecessary noise I tolerate is my own snoring! 😴🔊 #TooManyDecibels #ExtraFriendsNotIncluded"
I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.
Commentary:
"Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"