Commentary:
"Sisters: the best informants money can't buy! 🕵️♀️💁♀️ Let's be real, they're like undercover agents reporting back to Mom on all your shenanigans! 🤫😂 #SisterSquadgoals"
66 Funny important quotes
The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.
Commentary:
"Who needs a diploma when you have that sizzling appearance? 🔥🎓 Just remember, PhD in Hotness beats any Ivy League degree hands down! 😎💯 #BeautyOverBrains"
I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?
Commentary:
"Apparently some apps have a major case of diva syndrome 🌟 Like, excuse me, Mr. App, do you really need all the attention? Let our music play in peace! 🎶😂 #FirstWorldAppProblems"
With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.
Commentary:
"Balancing a lollipop and a dandelion is no easy feat! 🍭🌼 It requires the focus of a ninja and the precision of a surgeon – a skill set mastered by every 'summer child' out there! 😄 Who knew such innocent treats could demand such intense concentration? Hats off to the summer kids for their impressive multitasking abilities! 🧢👏"
Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.
Commentary:
"Note to self: Prioritize insults AFTER the call ends. Because a missed opportunity is worse than a burned bridge! 📞😜 #PhoneEtiquette"
I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.
Commentary:
"Two key life lessons: 1) Always remember to… uh, wait, what was it again? 🤔 2) Ah yes, WRITE IT DOWN! 📝 The struggle is real, folks! 😂 #MemoryFail"
Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.
Commentary:
"Who needs brain health when you have memes and snacks, am I right? 🤷♂️🍿 #SociallyDistantButWellFed"
Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.
Commentary:
"Life hack: Put on an apron and suddenly transform into a culinary wizard or DIY guru in the eyes of your household 🧙♂️🍳 Who knew a simple piece of fabric could be your secret weapon in the battle against being asked to do chores? 😂 #ApronMagic"
It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.
Commentary:
"Don't want to start the school year with a 'Where are the kids?' panic mode 😱 Setting an alarm is the responsible parent's version of adulting! ⏰👩👧👦 #ParentingProblems #BackToSchoolBlues"
Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.
Commentary:
"Your screams are in a queue and will be answered in the order they were received. Please hold on to your sanity, it's a long wait ahead! 😈🌀 #SpookyCustomerService"