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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Making waves on Slack:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Going viral on Reddit:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Going viral on Instagram:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Trending via Threads:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Funny intake quotes

Funny intake quotes are the perfect way to lighten up your day and add a splash of humor to those routine moments! 😂 Whether you’re diving into new projects or just tackling your daily to-do list, a little laughter goes a long way. Ready to chuckle, smile, and maybe even relate? Let’s fuel your fun side with some witty and playful vibes! 🎉😄✨

New funny intake quotes 👇

All funny intake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Instagram this month:

The void screams into me.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

63 shares on X this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

95 shares on Threads this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Making art is making love to the world.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Spotted on X:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Trending via Threads:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My life is based on a true story.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Just shared via Threads:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Just shared via Threads:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

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