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When life gives you lemons, it could've given you a chocolate fountain instead! 🍋➡️🍫🎉
1681 Funny irony quotes
(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.
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When you really hit it off with someone new but they’ve got career commitments. 😂🔪💔
A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.
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Sounds like my wallet is the true victim of identity theft! 🎰💸😅
Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.
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Well, sometimes intuition just wants to hit the dance floor and spin some records! 🎧💃😂
I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.
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Ah, yes, the luxury of generational wealth: a whole bedroom *and* a window! 💸🛌🚪
And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.
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Surviving a pandemic just to botch a cake recipe—where do I collect my adulting trophy? 🏆🍰🙈
You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.
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Sounds like my brain deserves a refund for all those extra processing fees 😂🤔💭
Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.
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When you realize your crypto investment is the financial version of "I can't believe it's not butter!" 🧈😂🚀
I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.
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Stretch goals… taken a bit too literally! 😂🧘♂️
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.
Commentary:
I think my Tamagotchi would need therapy after spending too much time with me now 😂📵🐣