Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Just landed via YouTube:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Just shared via Slack:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Shared recently on Discord:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Live now on Pinterest:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Going viral on Messenger:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Breaking via Telegram:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Funny jazz quotes

Funny jazz quotes 🎷 bring the perfect blend of rhythm and humor to brighten your day! Whether you’re a smooth sax fan or a wild trumpet lover, these witty lines hit all the right notes 🎶😂. Get ready to snap your fingers and smile as we dive into the playful side of jazz, where every beat tells a joke and every melody has a punchline! 🎺😄

New funny jazz quotes 👇

All funny jazz quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

99 shares on Slack this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

77 shares on Slack this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Making waves on TikTok:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Just landed via WeChat:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Seen just now on X:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴