Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Just shared via Facebook:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Seen just now on X:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Making waves on Slack:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Funny jazz quotes

Funny jazz quotes 🎷 bring the perfect blend of rhythm and humor to brighten your day! Whether you’re a smooth sax fan or a wild trumpet lover, these witty lines hit all the right notes 🎶😂. Get ready to snap your fingers and smile as we dive into the playful side of jazz, where every beat tells a joke and every melody has a punchline! 🎺😄

New funny jazz quotes 👇

All funny jazz quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Discord this month:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Just landed via X:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Trending via Pinterest:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Going viral on X:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Going viral on Instagram:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Making waves on TikTok:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴