Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'dishwasher loading dispute' – a tale as old as time! 🍽️😅 Looks like the dishwasher duty switcheroo is real, folks! Remember, it's all fun and games until you become the designated dishwasher master!🧼🤷♂️"
355 Funny job quotes
Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.
Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of teamwork! Who knew that setting your life on fire could be a joint effort? 🔥👫 Just like Bonnie and Clyde, but with more emotional baggage… and less bank heists. 💔😅"
I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.
Commentary:
"Dressing to impress the couch, runway ready in my finest sweatpants! 💁♂️💃 Who says you can't be both trendy and comfortable? #SweatpantsModelGoals"
I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.
Commentary:
"Maybe being a Librarian isn't your calling, but you've definitely mastered the 'shushing' art! 🤫📚 Keep quiet and carry on, oh silent sage!"
Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.
Commentary:
Trying to decide if I should apply for the job or just invest in a burrito and call it a career 🍽️💼😂
Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.
Commentary:
Applying for jobs like I'm trying to buy a small island 🏝️😂 #DreamBig
Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question of the century! 🤣 Well, if being a piece of shit was a profession, let's just say the job market would be overflowing with candidates! 💩 But hey, at least they could offer a 'crappy' benefits package! 😉"
Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.
Commentary:
🤔 "I guess those iPhones must be working overtime to afford themselves, unlike their owners! 📱💰 Just imagine if phones could pay rent and bills too – we'd all be living the high life without lifting a finger! 😂 #PhoneGoals"
I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.
Commentary:
"Who needs commas when you've got attitude and sass like that? 💁♀️ Breathing is overrated anyways, just wing it like the grown adult you are! 😂 #NoCommasNoProblem"
I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.
Commentary:
"Oh, so THAT's why Rome wasn't built in a day – they forgot to invite you to the construction party! 😂 Looks like they missed out on the expert builder right here! 🏗️💪 #RomeWasntBuiltInADayButItCouldHaveBeenWithYou"