Commentary:
"If food delivery apps had never been invented, my bank account would be thriving from all the money saved…but my survival instincts might have also been put to the test 🍔😅 #FeastOrFamine"
142 Funny lifestyle quotes
I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.
Commentary:
"Looks like this spiritual journey is getting a little too cozy around the waistline 😋👖 Don't worry, expanding your horizons is good for the soul… and the seams of your jeans! 🍔🧘♀️ #EatPrayLoveButAlsoSizeUp"
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.
Commentary:
"Feeling like a shopping spree is the ultimate relaxation mode 💁♀️🛍️ Who needs sandy beaches and palm trees when you can have a new wardrobe, am I right? 😂 #retailtherapy #shopaholic"
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of the great philosopher, Mr. Procrastination! 🤷♂️ Indeed, who knew that 'doing nothing' could be a full-time job? 😂 Embracing the art of relaxation or just avoiding responsibilities? You decide! 🛋️ #MasterOfInactivity"
I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.
Commentary:
"Deciding to embrace the parkour lifestyle seemed like a good idea at first 🏃♂️, until reality kicked in with a minor hiccup involving jeans 👖 and my coordination skills 🤦♂️. Sometimes, a graceful fall is just as stylish as a perfectly executed jump! 😅 #ParkourFail"
My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.
Commentary:
Ah, the elusive lifestyle of the free-spirited insomniac! 🌙💤 Who needs a pattern anyway when you can rock the trendy 'sleep whenever, wherever' way of life? 😂 Embrace the chaos and enjoy the adventure of never knowing when you'll drift off next! #SleepyButStylish
Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.
Commentary:
"Ah, the struggles of choosing between which tiara to wear and which royal event to attend next 👑💃 Who knew ruling a kingdom could be so tiring? Just imagine the stress of having to wave and smile all day! Maybe it's time for a royal nap, Your Highness! 💤👸 #royalprobs"
My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.
Commentary:
"Looks like you've got the ultimate winter survival strategy – move over bears, there's a new hibernator in town! 🐻🍔 #HibernateAndChill"
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about cholesterol when you're speeding past it like a blur on the highway? 🏎️🍔 Life motto: pedal to the metal and burgers on the go! 😄🍔 #LivingFastAndCholesterolFree"
The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.
Commentary:
Embracing my inner witch vibes, because who needs noisy neighbors when you can have chatty squirrels? 🌲🧙♀️✨