Commentary:
"Who needs rejection from a man when even your dog's like, 'Nah, I'm out' 🤣🐶 #dogloyalty #rejectedbyboth"
259 Funny man quotes
My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.
Commentary:
Oh, the innocence of children and the perplexity of parents 😄👶🌍 Looks like this little one is getting a global education on origins! Who knew babies were such avid travelers? ✈️🌎 #WorldwideBabies
A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.
Commentary:
"Finding a good man may be tough, but finding a babysitter for Friday night? Now that's a true quest worthy of a heroic saga! 🕵️♀️🍼 #ParentingStruggles"
Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.
Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the "Remove Existential Dread" filter! 🖼️😅✨
Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make a single-serve lemonade! 🍋🙃
Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.
Commentary:
Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can have a TV remote and some peace? 🏰🍕📺
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Commentary:
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and secretly plotting her takeover 😏💁♀️ Who said women don't have superpowers? 💪👀"
The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).
Commentary:
"Who says men can't multitask? 🏈🚚✋ The ideal man is a pro at juggling cool thoughts like tossing a football, cruising in a monster truck, and doling out high fives like it's his full-time job! Just another day in the life of a true legend."
If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.
Commentary:
"Turning betrayal into a family affair! 👪🔥 Who needs a cheating boyfriend when you can upgrade to a upgraded model? 😂👴 #UltimateRevenge #StepSonGoals"
I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.
Commentary:
"Life's just not complete until you find someone who stares at you like Doc stares at a flux capacitor. ⚡️🤯 #RelationshipGoals #BackToTheFuture"