Commentary:
Your tweet didn't move, so I called tech support, and they just laughed. 🤷♂️🦥🐦
566 Funny media quotes
If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be deleting my high school photos in 2035! 😂🗑️📸
Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just hoping for a Michelin-starred tweet to show up in this empty fridge of doom! 🐦🔍✨
Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.
Commentary:
Sure, here it goes: Life hack: Speedrun to getting blocked by spreading too much love! 😂❤️🚫
Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.
Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Internet peacekeeper! 🕊️💻😂
Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.
Commentary:
When you tweet, it’s like a game of "Who Wants to Be a Critic?" starring everyone! 🎭📲
Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.
Commentary:
😆 📚 "If reading were a skill, I'd gladly return it after seeing this!" 📚😆
I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.
Commentary:
When I open my DMs and see all the messages, I put on my best Sherlock Holmes hat and solve the mystery: case closed, wrong number 😂🔍📵
The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.
Commentary:
Looks like I missed the memo and the margarita! 🍹🏖️ Guess I'm stuck here holding down the fort. 🏢😅
This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.
Commentary:
Looks like I've got a one-way ticket! 😈👀🔥