Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Seen just now on Slack:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Trending via Telegram:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Making waves on Threads:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Just landed via Twitch:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Live now on Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Making waves on Reddit:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Going viral on Telegram:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Seen just now on Threads:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Funny mule quotes

Funny mule quotes 🐴🤣 bring a hilarious twist to these stubborn yet lovable creatures! Whether you’re a mule fan or just love a good chuckle, these witty sayings capture their mischievous charm perfectly. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even relate to a mule’s stubborn streak—because who said animals can’t have a sense of humor? Let the laughter trot in! 🎉🐾💬

New funny mule quotes 👇

All funny mule quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

75 shares on Threads this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

36 shares on Facebook this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

66 shares on Instagram this month:

The shitshow must go on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is getting idioter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Going viral on YouTube:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Just shared via YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Just shared via Messenger:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Making waves on Instagram:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Going viral on TikTok:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

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