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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Shared recently on X:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Making waves on Facebook:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Trending via Discord:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Trending via YouTube:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Making waves on Messenger:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Spotted on Facebook:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Spotted on Twitch:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Reported on Pinterest:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

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