Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Going bananas on Twitch:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Live now on Telegram:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Just landed via TikTok:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Just shared via TikTok:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Breaking via Instagram:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Funny nut quotes

Funny nut quotes 🥜 bring a crunchy twist to your day, cracking you up with clever wordplay and nutty humor! Whether you’re a squirrel enthusiast or just love a good pun, these witty lines will shell out endless smiles 😄🌰. Get ready to go nuts over jokes that are perfectly roasted for laughter and fun! 🎉🤣

New funny nut quotes 👇

All funny nut quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

78 shares on X this month:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Going viral on WeChat:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Just shared via TikTok:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Spotted on Discord:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

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