Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Live now on LinkedIn:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Going bananas on Facebook:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Going viral on Messenger:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Making waves on Facebook:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Live now on Discord:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Funny paper towel quotes

Funny paper towel quotes bring a splash of humor to everyday messes 🧽😂 Whether you’re wiping up spills or just need a quick giggle, these witty lines turn a simple kitchen staple into a comedy superstar 🎭✨ Get ready to chuckle while you clean and make those paper towels the life of your countertop party! 🎉🧻 #CleanAndFunny

New funny paper towel quotes 👇

All funny paper towel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

93 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

43 shares on X this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

63 shares on X this month:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Spotted on Twitch:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Seen just now on Slack:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on X:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Making waves on Reddit:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Making waves on Slack:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Making waves on Threads:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Breaking via TikTok:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

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