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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has shared:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on YouTube:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Spotted on Messenger:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Spotted on Discord:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Spotted on X:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Trending via Facebook:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Trending via TikTok:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Funny Pornhub quotes

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New funny Pornhub quotes πŸ‘‡

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

64 shares on Threads this month:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

12 shares on X this month:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has viewed:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has downloaded:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Making waves on Messenger:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Just shared via X:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Going viral on Telegram:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Spotted on Twitch:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Spotted on Threads:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

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