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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Reported on Snapchat:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Shared recently on X:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Making waves on Facebook:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Just landed via WeChat:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Breaking via Discord:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Going viral on Slack:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Reported on Pinterest:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Spotted on Instagram:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Spotted on Reddit:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

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