Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Making waves on Discord:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Trending via Twitch:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Funny promotion quotes

Funny promotion quotes bring a burst of laughter to celebrating career wins 🎉😂 Whether you’re climbing the corporate ladder or snagging that well-deserved raise 💼💰, a good chuckle makes the moment even sweeter. Ready to lighten the mood and share some witty vibes? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say congrats and keep those smiles shining bright! 😄🚀 #CareerGoals #PromotionPerks

New funny promotion quotes 👇

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, career, feel, humor, i, life, management, manager, promotion, quick, quick promotion, too, underqualification, workplace, workplace humor
Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

2 months ago

anything, buy, discount, free, humor, irony, joke, marketing, offer, promotion, sales, save, special, special offer
McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

2 months ago

fast, fast food, food, good, good health, health, humor, irony, making, McDonald’s, promotion, unaffordable
All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

2 months ago

evidence, humor, i, ID, irony, job, management, much, performance, promotion, senior, senior management, workplace, worse

All funny promotion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

36 shares on X this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

89 shares on Discord this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

86 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

All roads lead to disappointment.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Seen just now on YouTube:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Making waves on X:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Going viral on YouTube:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

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