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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Trending via Facebook:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Spotted on Telegram:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Seen just now on Discord:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Spotted on Telegram:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Funny promotion quotes

Funny promotion quotes bring a burst of laughter to celebrating career wins 🎉😂 Whether you’re climbing the corporate ladder or snagging that well-deserved raise 💼💰, a good chuckle makes the moment even sweeter. Ready to lighten the mood and share some witty vibes? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say congrats and keep those smiles shining bright! 😄🚀 #CareerGoals #PromotionPerks

New funny promotion quotes 👇

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

1 week ago

adult, adult life, adulting, career, feel, humor, i, life, management, manager, promotion, quick, quick promotion, too, underqualification, workplace, workplace humor
Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

1 week ago

anything, buy, discount, free, humor, irony, joke, marketing, offer, promotion, sales, save, special, special offer
McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

1 week ago

fast, fast food, food, good, good health, health, humor, irony, making, McDonald’s, promotion, unaffordable
All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

3 weeks ago

evidence, humor, i, ID, irony, job, management, much, performance, promotion, senior, senior management, workplace, worse

All funny promotion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

21 shares on Slack this month:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

81 shares on X this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

39 shares on YouTube this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Just landed via Threads:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Trending via Telegram:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Spotted on Facebook:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Seen just now on Threads:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Spotted on X:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

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