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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,931

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Just landed via Slack:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Just shared via X:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Shared recently on Discord:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Just shared via Reddit:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Just shared via Discord:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Funny promotion quotes

Funny promotion quotes bring a burst of laughter to celebrating career wins 🎉😂 Whether you’re climbing the corporate ladder or snagging that well-deserved raise 💼💰, a good chuckle makes the moment even sweeter. Ready to lighten the mood and share some witty vibes? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say congrats and keep those smiles shining bright! 😄🚀 #CareerGoals #PromotionPerks

New funny promotion quotes 👇

All funny promotion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

27 shares on YouTube this month:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

57 shares on X this month:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

46 shares on Discord this month:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just shared via TikTok:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Just landed via Instagram:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Breaking via WeChat:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

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