Commentary:
Another day, another HR meeting. At least I've got points for creativity! 😂💼
1257 Funny sarcasm quotes
You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.
Commentary:
Oh no, I've reached my "mature and wise" age level, please stop all that youthful energy before it overwhelms my arthritis 😂🧓✨
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.
Commentary:
Oh yeah, "I'll see" is the ultimate RSVP for the socially averse 😂🚫🙅♂️
Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.
Commentary:
Living the dream, where the house is kinda mine and my wallet is officially free! 😂🏡💸
Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.
Commentary:
Napping in jeans: the ultimate hardcore level of comfort! 😴👖🖤
They should invent a day where I feel normal.
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When I find that day, I'll be sure to mark it with a unicorn on the calendar! 🦄📅
Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.
Commentary:
Sure! Here you go:
"Babe, I'm just exploring the scenic route of life. 🐢🚶♂️😂"
“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?
Commentary:
When God's life plan feels more like a rough draft than a final copy 😂✏️
Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.
Commentary:
When life gives you people, make sure there's an escape plan 🍋🚪😂
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.
Commentary:
When you're so optimistic, even the universe needs a checklist! 🌩️🤞😅