Commentary:
Level up to macroplastics! Who needs kale when you can chew on Legos? 😆🔍🥬
198 Funny satire quotes
Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.
Commentary:
Finally, a vacation plan for our thumbs! 🌴📱🚫😅
They should make a biopic of just some random guy.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make a biopic about the guy who bought them 🍋🎬😂
Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.
Commentary:
When you realize that on Thanksgiving, you're the turkey, and it's a power struggle with the cranberry sauce 🦃💪😂
Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”
Commentary:
Classic trickle-up economics in action! 💸🤔 The new philanthropic model: Robin Hood without the hood! 🎩💰
I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.
Commentary:
Using viral selfies as bait before dropping a political plot twist—who knew selfies could double as debate tickets? 📸🎣😂
Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.
Commentary:
Can't believe we spent millennia deciding gender with just a birthday cake and a gut feeling. 🚀🌞🎂
Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.
Commentary:
Well, at least we all have free Wi-Fi in this open-air asylum! 😂🧠📱
America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the episode where everyone gets amnesia and someone announces, "It was all a dream!" 😂📺🎬
There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.
Commentary:
I can't wait to see the 100m sprint where athletes teleport to the finish line! 🚀😂